Forgive me

Nisa Jan

When I never asked anything (a)

i’ll do that...permit me. (b)

I wanna you heard something (a)

 something heavy to say...Sorry (b)

to the sky..sorry

i couldn’t be the white cloud when it’s clouded..

made you’re been hazy

i was too busy with my illusion to be the sun 

to the earth..sorry

I couldn’t be the rains when you are thirsty

And when you’re dry

a lot my time lost with the angel in the heaven

to the youth girl..sorry

I was not a good boy..you just get any pain caused of me

made your tears felt..

i lost my time for you with my freezing

and to the nite..forgive me

Couldn’t be a perfect star..and made the moon lonely

i lost my time in my journey to seek another stars..to beauty 

your nite

for all the sorry I said

for all the long time that made you wait

FORGIVE ME...

This poetry try to tell the reader that the writer want to say sorry to the SKY, EARTH, YOUTH GIRL AND THE NITE...all of the objects represented four people in the writer’s life. The sky, the earth, and the youth girl are the writer’s close friends, this name are taken from their favorite color, and the nite for someone, it’s taken from his favorite color, black (210191).

my first movie script

HELLO OVERSEAS!!!!!!!!!!

Nisa: God!!you shocked me! ( surprise then shred the paper that she holds)

Myta: why do you sit here lonely??(sitting beside nisa)

Nisa:...hmmmmm..

Nazma: any problem???just tell us..we’re ready to hear you

Nisa: no...nothing....hmmm wait!!something wrong with you all guys!!(looking at mytha and cemma)

Mytha n cemma: (looking each other)

Nisa: hahaha...no..i mean there’s no Azma..where is she?

Mytha:..you said that like just  you dont recognize her,,,

Nazma: yeah!! Always come late..miss..lelet..

Laughing together............

A boy shoots and call Nisa and friends...

Boy (figuran): Prof. Azhar come!!!

Nisa, nazma, mytha:....let’s study!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly..form their back..a woman shooting..

Azma: sayoooooooond...wait for me!!

All: again???

Nisa: just calm down sayooond..we always wait for you...

Come inside to the class room together...Nazma, Nisa, mytha and azma are a bestfriend for about 2 years...they have an ambition to be success after they are recognized each other...like Prof.Azhar taught them in the class about go overseas!! since their friendship. Mytha and Azma are rich..while nazma and nisa are poor..they always together even they are different in economy.

Azma:....I never worry guys to go to overseas....especially London..My parents...can give me their money for it.

Mytha: husss!!! You are so proud Azma...you think always be better by money..

Azma: sorry sayooond...i didn’t mean....

Nazma and nisa:..hello...don’t fighting here..all students are watching now like in cinema..

Nisa: Nazma....I am leaving first...i’ve to go

Nazma:where??you dont want to join us??

Mytha: yes please Nisa....maybe you have an important business.

Nisa: thanks mytha...i promise..another timei’ll join you..OK?

Azma, mytha,nazma: Be careful Nisa...

Nisa: go and left her friend...

In Rectorat...

Nisa: Sir...excuse me...May I meet Mrs.Kamsinah??

Secretary:..sorry..but Mrs.Kamsinah has a meeting outside

Nisa: ouuh..actually i have to give her this..but maybe next time..

Secretary: if it so important, you can leave that here..I’ll give her the letter..

Nisa:..thank you so much....I hope this letter can be read by her today.

Secretary: Insya Allah...

Next day

Nisa: waalaykumsalam..yes maam??

Mrs Kamsinah: I have read the envlope. Maybe I will give you the answer this afternoon

Nisa: thank you maam..

Nazma: hmm tell me..why you save a secret from us??

Nisa:what??secret??nooo...i’have no secret..

Nazma:but what about yesterday??

Nisa: why??

Nazma: You never like that before Nisa...usually you tell us if you want to go and what’s your business..it’s our promise..

Mytha: sayond..what are you talking about..so serious you are.

Nisa: Nazma...maybe she has a problem with me...so she asked me

Mytha: bout what?

Nazma:not only me.. but us....

Mytha: heii tell me...

Nisa: sorry guys...yesterday I went to rectorat i would met mrs.kamsinah.

Nazma: for what?

Mytha: nazma...stop you talk like that.

Nisa: she just would met me..

Nazma: just it?

Azma: sayooond....you have to be honest...

Mytha:stop it!! I dont like if we are fighting because of one problem.know we go to class and wait for the lecturer.

Mytha sends sms to her closefriend during the lecturing.

Nazma, azma and nisa...read it...and reply the sms.

Nazma and azma got a same sms while nisa got another.

Sms for azma n nazma:

I am waiting for you  in my home..after we join the lecture..something must be done!!

Sms for nisa:

Sayooond...we will meet in my home at 5.pm we have a paper to be done...

After class....all students home.

In mytha’s home

Nazma and azma: what must be done???

Mytha: (give a pink book for them. And then They read it together)

Azma: it is Nisa’s diary

Mytha: just read about the scholarship...it is the key..

Mytha: and the end of this diary is..Nisa administers the scholarship...but she wont we know..

Nazma:but why?

Mytha: cause you want to get this scholarship...while we all know this scholarship is limited...only for one students of three classes. But I know the another secret....Nazma...you have administer the other scholarship and you got it but Nisa didn’t know it yet.and she want to meet mrs kamsinah today, actually...

Azma: hmm i see....so as a friend we have to give our hand to Nisa!!!

Nazma: i am so sorry Nisa...i dont know the truth..but where did you get this??

Mytha:dont ask now..just do our project. We have to get the envlope first

Nazma:say...now is january and tomorrow is her birthday...we never give her surprise. How about the scholarship for her..

Azma, mytha: cool!!!so let’s working!...heeiiii...we have to save this diary, cause Nisa will be here at 5.pm  to finish our paper...

Azma:..call her  and tell that it’s canceled..we have to work..

Mytha: (calling)...

Meanwhile nisa on the motorcycle read the sms..and finally...he falls down on the road.

Mytha, azma and nazma go to campus to take the envlope from mrs.kamsinah. They get the scholarship and they are so happy because nisa’s hope is reached. But in the other place...Nisa got an accident she is hospitality.

Mytha call her number but no one takes the phone untill the nurse of the clinic takes the phone and tells her about the accident.

When mytha, azma and Nazma want to come to the clinic, the nurse said that Nisa will home soon because she has got well.

Nazma: let’s go to Her home..

In nisa’s home there is no one, nisa has been picked  up by her cousin.

So they will give the envlope tomorrow..

In campus

Azma: (sad)...nisa...where is she??

Nazma: maybe know she is so sick with her pain..and..

Nisa: mytha...azma...nazma...

Nazma, mytha, azma:  NISA!!!!!!!!!!!

Nisa: smiling

Mytha,nazma, azma: how bout your condition????

Nisa:never mind sayooond...

Mytha: nisa..we are sorry....for all that have happened..and I have taken your diary and read it

Nazma: especially me..

Nisa: (confusing)

Azma: mythaaa.....nazmaa...dont be sad...hei...now your birthday!!mytha..where is the gift??

Nazma: uuuh azma.....it’s a surprise...not here..

Nisa: what????

Mytha: (give the envlope)

Nisa: (reads) guuuuys!!!!!!!!!!! I got it???????? Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nazma: Nisa...i tell you...the truth I got my scholarship too and i never tell you...

Azma mytha: we just call our father hehehehe...

NISA: so??

All: HELLO....OVERSEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

end

yang kucari

Aku mencari yang telah kutemukan.....

Jiwanya yang dulu jangan sampai kembali..

Ku mencari dia yang sebulan lalu....

Bukan aku tak menerima dia yang dulu tapi aku takut semua terulang

Semua yang selalu membuatku menangis

jangan pergi jiwa yang kucintai, tetaplah bersama dalam raganya..

karena aku begitu menyayanginya,,

biarkan pikiranku tenang dalam dekapan harapan yang sering ia beri

aku menangis mencintainya

aku sedih tanpanya..

bahagialah cinta kita dalam keabadian itu yang kuingin

semua karena CO-PAS

today harusnya yang presentase itu kelompok dua berhubung mereka uncomplete..terpaksa-lah kelompok yang perform itu saya dkk (1st group) untungnya semua sudah saya kerjakan..tapi walhasil ternyata tak sesuai dugaan malah PPTku dapat pujian negatif "aaah kentara copasnya" suara dosen di depan kami. Plak!!! kejamnya dunia presentase...ketahuan juga kalau ternyata nge-paste dari google. Begitulah kalau semua dikerjakan SKS...(sistem kebut semalam) langsung take dari google trus sent ke emailnya dosen yang pintarnya minta ampun...

dari presentase hari ini, STRUCTURE "noun clause" alhamdulillah sedikit demi  sedikit ilmu ku bertambah. Meskipun masih sedikit bingung. Insya Allah semoga hatiku selalu terbuka untuk menerima ilmu dari orang lain. Amin...

pelajaran yang sempat singgah di otakku....

CLAUSE dan SENTENCE itu berbeda...

meditation...

aaah rumit...life is complicated. tapi semua itu hanya saya yang rasakan, sepertinya orang lain enjoy menikmati semuanya. seolah terbatas dengan keadaanku saat ini. segalanya, semuanya......apapun jadi terhenti karena aku merasa terkurung dalam kotak dan bingung bagaimana tuk bisa keluar.
apa karena selama ini aku jauh dari-Mu???sehingga Kau ikut menjauh dariku???

sedikit merenung di bulan Muharram tepatnya hari Asyura dengan sebait lagu..

astaghfirullah..rabbal baroyah
astaghfirullah minal khathoyah..

ya illahiy..ya tuhanku hambaMu ini menuju-Mu
aku tersesat di jalan ini tak tahu lagi arah kembali
tak tahu lagi kemana pergi..

sedikit merenung akan diri serta segala dosa-dosa di masa lalu..setiap akhir shalatku ku tengadahkan kedua tangan yang selalu meminta

"allahummaghfirly dzanbiy kullahu wadikkahu waj'allahu waawwalahu waakhirahu wa'alaniyatahu wasirrahu"...amin allahumma amin

paper ooh my paper..(WRITING)

satu kata PUSING!! ternyata susahnya mata kuliah terasa pas semester pertengahan begini..tugas numpuk..kalau tugas numpuk trus gampang sih alhamdulillah yah (sesuatu!!) ini sih bikin tekor.. sudah numpuk..susaaaaaaah lagi..plus paragraf yang tidak tanggung-tanggung (500-1000 words) coba kalau writing tasknya disuruh cerita pengalaman (pengalaman waktu liburan hehe)..eeh malah disuruh buat tulisan yang hampir mirip kayak koran..

academic writing adalah paper pertama dari mata kuliahnya dosenku yang tomboy ini..pas perkenalan saya tertipu dengan logatnya..mirip sekali sama orang Batak..taunya pas ditanya "bu..asalnya dari mana?" satu kelas nanyain dengan muka yang penasaran..dengan berkacak pinggang ibu dosen jawab "PANGKEP!!!" wajah kami berubah melongo dan sedikit lucu hhhhhhh ternyata jauh dari dugaan..Pangkep salah satu kota kabupaten di Sul-Sel...dekat dengan Makassar sekitar 2 jam lah...

klo dipikir-pikir tugas yang sekarang agak mendingan karena betul2 sekarang murni dari hasil kerja otak dan tangan saya saudara-saudara!! dan beruntungnya orang yang slalu menyemangati hadir disaat yang tepat (asek-asek..ayu ting-ting mode on) bukannya hadir ngebantuin kerja tapi hadir dikala diriku sedang butuh seseorang yang memberi kekuatanmoril serta bahan referensi entah dari mana datangnya pokoknya semacam ilham dari yang Maha Kuasa melalui dirinya ckckc (serius!!) sekarang saya sedang berjuang menulis first draft yang sepertinya harus selesai dengan menggunakan jurus umum para pelajar SKS (sistim kebut semalam)

yaaah kita lihat saja nantinya apakah cara tersebuut akan menuai hasil yang maksimal atau minimal?? semoga saja...maksimal sesuai harapan ibu dosen...

over all...saya sudah melakukan effort yang sesuai kemampuan saya..finally saya hanya berdoa semoga effort itu bisa baik hasilnya..amin.. always Guide me Oh Allah....

pray...is my way..

sejak mengenalnya segala ketakutan hadir dan menghantui pikiranku..takut menghadapi masa depan bila tak bersamanya,,,salahku terlalu mencintainya hingga semua terasa diluar dugaan...aku tak bisa mengendalikan perasaanku. apakah ia juga sama seperti apa yang saya rasakan???????????????????berharap ada saatnya nanti ia akan tahu bagaimana kutahan perasaanku selama ini.

Hampir 9 bulan bersamanya aku malah terperangkap tak bisa keluar dari perasaan yang kupikir cuma aku yang merasakannya...meskipun kadang ia berkata kalau ia menyayangiku..tapi kurasa itu hanya di bibirnya....Dulu ia sering skali meminta tuk memutuskan hubungan tapi dasar saya yang tak pernah mengerti kemauannya dan terlalu barharap, saya mempertahankannya, menangis di hadapannya dan terlihat begitu mengemis padanya...oooh Ya Allah...maafkan hamba-Mu yang begitu hina...tak ku tahu lagi caranya mengungkapkan segenap perasaan membuncah di dadaku.. semakin ku tahan semakin ia memberontak tuk keluar,,,

aku menyayanginya, salahkah???????????????????????????????? aku mengharapkannya, tak bisakah????????????????????????? Ya Allah satu pintaku ISTIQOMAHkan hatinya....sungguh aku kembali mengeluarkan bening airmata yang sejak tadi kutahan di mataku. Menetes semakin deras ketika kuingat semua usahaku bertahan dan menunjukkan aku menyayanginya...

ya Allah............................
aku tak tahu panjangkah usiaku..jodohkah aku dengannya????(amin)
selama menjalani hubungan (going steady) dengannya, banyak pelajaran hidup yang kudapatkan dan semoga baik untukku...semoga dengan kuberikan banyak kasih sayang, suatu saat akan mendapatkan kasih sayang yang setimpal darinya...Amin...